On Softness
Shining our light through the Winter Solstice
Hello darkness my old friend
Hello from the shortest day and darkest night of the year, the winter solstice, in ye olde Northern Hemisphere. (All you southern hemi cuties, soak in the rays for those of us who don’t remember what the sun looks like.)
The winter solstice is midnight on the year’s pocket watch and many moons ago Norse and Scandinavian Pagans, no strangers to darkness, would partake in the celebration of Yule. It was time to gather around the fire and find light amid the depths of winter.
I view this moment as liminal period of reflection, a time when the torch is passed from our fire-forward Strength year into the earthy learnings of the Hermit, ones that can only be revealed in darkness.
Cloaked in darkness (metaphorical or otherwise), it’s tough to access the things we need most to carry us through to the light. Instead of softening, we reach for our armor—a winter coat, an ambient T.V. show, a jam packed schedule, isolation under the guise of “alone time”, our phones. On the surface, these things feel like protection from the season’s travails, and sometimes they are. But when taken to extremes, they leave us disconnected, numb, and more lost in the dark than ever.
The question that’s been playing over in my mind is, “In moments of darkness, how can we soften?”
Go softly into that good night
A new friend recently confessed to me, “I’m soft.” Buried inside the shy admittance was not only the courage to do so, but the outline of a question, “Will you be soft with me, too?”
It can feel scary to call in softness because in western culture it’s viewed as a sign of weakness.
“You’re soft,” is bandied about as an insult in the U.S., connoting someone too sensitive or without backbone.
To have a “soft” body stinks of diet culture’s fear of rolls, curves, or being human shaped at all.
Even Dylan Thomas’ poetry urges, “Do not go gently (aka softly) into that good night.”
But what if softness is a superpower?
To be soft amid the harsh winter of life, to open one’s soul to the depths of human feeling though fear tells us its safer to stay hidden and closed, is what we’ve collectively been practicing all year. It is the ultimate embodiment of Strength’s bravery.
In the search for softness, darkness our ally. In the dark, we become aware of what we cannot see, what we’re scared of bumping into, what we’re worried we’ll never find. In the dark, we are shown all the ways our hardness, rigidity, force, and toughness, fall short.
When we surrender to softness we move past the unhelpful habits we grab for in the dark and into our feeling bodies. This is also part of Strength‘s lesson—trusting our intuitive, corporeal knowing that rises calm and focused, when we give ourselves the space soften.
To admit to our fear is softness.
To forego outdated stories is softness.
To sit in the dark of the unknown is softness.
To let softness be our source of light amid the darkness is the deepest lesson of the Hermit, one we’ll feel our way through together in 2025.
Soft Launch Spread
The solstice is a moment to think about all the ways our softness has served us this year. All the times we wanted to huddle up, or run away, or snap back, and instead, we let ourselves be soft.
In what ways did I soften this year?
What happened when softness arrived?
How did softening make me stronger?
Where am I still learning to soften?
How can I cultivate softness in this next chapter?
WITCH SHIT wrapped…in a soft blanket
Connecting with you all over tarot and witchy culture has been a beautifully transformative experience, one that has made the little witch inside me soften and sing. Thank you for being on this journey with me.
This year we…
Tussled with the lion in the Strength card.
Learned to cultivate hope with the Star.
Freed ourselves with the Eights.
Played with the power of fire with the Wands.
Traveled to Niki de Saint Phalle’s Tarot Garden
Mapped the cards in our constellation of influence
Got lost and found during the fall equinox
Unpacked the Witch to Hag pipeline
Here is our wrapped video, one that took me almost longer to make than to write this newsletter 😅
Your soft suggestions
As we head into 2025, I would love to know what you want to see/read/feel/learn/explore more of with WITCH SHIT. Feel free to fill out the poll or pop a note into the comments section.
Tarot treats for the softy in your life
Some favorite decks for beginners: Queer Tarot, Modern Witch Tarot, Teller Tarot
The book “Modern Tarot” by Michelle Tea: A feminist and political point of view on the tarot cards
A one-hour reading with me. Gift cards are also available 😊
Stay soft.
XO
ALTARU TAROT
Love the wrapped video! Another great and thought provoking read Leila. Thank you!